The Power of Names

I sat with woman once as she told stories of her life, and as she spoke, I wondered if she realized all that she had lived through. This woman was walking through stories of suffering and mistakes like she was talking about a picnic. Occasionally she would smile or laugh but it felt like what she needed more of was tears. When she finished talking I told her my initial reaction to her stories was somewhat unbelief. It's hard to fathom living her life and having enough joy and strength to walk through the door with a smile.

When I started to share more of how I was impacted, and the strength and wisdom I saw in her, she broke. Tears came to her eyes and she quickly laughed them away and couldn't believe that's what I saw in her and heard in her story. It felt like my words touched upon something much deeper than she was hoping to offer but something she needed. It might have been the first time a man has looked at her and called her strong. Sometimes, it feels like there are names that God has given us that we are longing to hear come from anyone's lips, and when it finally happens it's almost unbearable. God created her with incredible strength but in her life no one had called her by that name until today. In some ways it feels like she was seen and that's what made her go to tears.

I wonder for myself how often I tell stories and live my life in the shallows and keep everyone, including myself there. What depth am I keeping people from? What part of my heart is still so guarded and untouched? What words would hit me and invite me to tears? What names am I hoping to be called? More importantly, how can I open myself up to recieved goodness like this instead of deflecting and denying it?

I deeply want to live in a way that makes me vulnerable and open so that the most meaningful and beautiful things in my life bring me to my knees. I want to be fully impacted by the love that I'm so often given but not always receptive to. I want to hear the names that I've been given and believe people when they call me by those names.