Wilt Chamberlain and "the granny-shot"

I went on a run recently and decided while running that instead of listening to music as usual, I would find a podcast. By chance I stumbled upon the podcast called “Revisionist History” by Malcolm Gladwell. As I scrolled through the titles of each episode, I locked in on one titled “The Big Man Can’t Shoot” (http://revisionisthistory.com/episodes/03-the-big-man-cant-shoot) and assumed it would have a sports theme so I was interested. What I soon realized was this “simple” sports podcast was about much deeper issues.

On the surface, Gladwell presents the question of why don’t good ideas spread. He uses the infamous 100-point game by Wilt Chamberlain as his case study. As Gladwell walks through professional basketball history and explains who Wilt Chamberlain was and how he scored the most points in a single professional basketball game, he reveals one piece of information I had never heard before. Apparently in this game, Wilt shot all his free-throws underhand or “Granny-Style.” This would be the only game in his entire career he would do so, making 28 of 32 for the game. These are great numbers for any basketball player but an astronomical jump for someone who for a career shot just above 50%.

However, with all of this surface information entertaining me, it soon became abundantly clear that this story was about identity and masculinity. As I listened to sports history and the physics behind why shooting underhand is a better option, I also heard why Wilt never shot like this again. In an autobiography written later in his life Wilt explained that “it made him feel like a sissy.”

One of the greatest basketball players of all time, who apparently could have been even better, stopped making more free throws because the technique made him feel less masculine.

As I listened the thoughts and questions began piling up in my head. How could someone so successful be so self-conscious? How could a man who checks most surface level boxes about masculinity, be derailed by a granny-shot? More importantly, what areas of my own life have been impacted by similar issues? And what are the real boxes we want to check that makes me truly a man?

After getting married my identity as a husband and a man was pushed as my wife began to work and I was struggling to find a job. It was the first time in my life I can truly say depression hit me and it was in that space that I realized how much of my identity was tied to work. I had never realized it before. It was the first time I hadn’t had a job in 8 years, and I had never wanted to work more in my life. As a man I was supposed to be making money and providing right? It took a lot of long conversations for my wife to slowly convince me that I could provide for her without working a job. I was cooking and cleaning and showing up emotionally for her when we were together. I was caring for her in ways that she wanted and needed more than just a paycheck I was so desperate to provide.

For me, having a daughter pushed my idea of being a man even more. She likes to wear bows occasionally and typically wants my wife and I to wear bows with her. Wouldn’t wearing bows in my hair make me less of a man? One day I’m assuming she may want me to paint my nails or have a tea-party which aren’t the most masculine things either right? But my fear is that if I allow myself to be controlled by these false ideas of what masculinity really is, my daughter will feel dismissed or miss out on having a more engaged father. What she needs from me most is just to see her and delight in her and if that means doing things that don’t align with my unhealthy views of masculinity, I hope I still choose to do them.

In situations like the one Wilt was in, he had a choice to become an even better player, score more points, become even more unstoppable. He allowed pressure from outside of himself determine what made him feel like a man. For me, it is more about how it impacts my life and not just a game like basketball. If I allow the phrase, “be a man” and toxic masculinity run my life, then my marriage and my children are in trouble. It’s not about being better exactly, but it is about being real.

The truth is that the world has historically trained all emotions and anything else viewed as feminine out of boys who one day become men. It’s an issue that still comes up for me. There has been a lot of work in my own life of thawing my heart and becoming more real and more alive. The work of becoming a healthy man is continuing through the teachings of my wife and daughter. This quote below speaks to much of this:

“Being a man was not the opposite of being feminine or emotional. It was the opposite of being childish and immature. It meant having the courage to face your fears and responsibilities, but also not being afraid of your emotions or weaknesses.”— Matthew Ryder, Depression, violence, anxiety: the problem with the phrase ‘be a man.’

I hope I have the courage to take on my fears and weaknesses and that I won’t be afraid to show all of myself to my wife and children. I hope the worldly idea of what is man is supposed to be doesn’t overcome the man in which I was created to be, or the man that my family needs me to be. I hope when I’m doing something that makes me feel less manly that I can look to my wife and daughter and they can show me otherwise. I hope when my son is born, he gets to see a father who cries and paints but also wrestles with him and watches sports. I hope they get all of me and I don’t hold back.